Lando's Pickup Lines

Leah, welcome to swollen vagina colony. Population - you.

Awesome Flash Movie at newgrounds

A Typical American?

This Woman is well and truly fucking insane.

Smumpkins Writing New Songs

From www.smashingpumpkins.com

"It's official, The Smashing Pumpkins are currently writing songs for their upcoming album, their first since 2000. no release date has yet been set, but the band plans to begin recording this summer."

Having been to their 'farewell' tour and been seriusly dissapointed, I can only hope the come back'll be worth it...

Spam Poetry

rush hour. sink
a fanatic, on-ramp photocopier
complimentary stability
concur migraine.

lifelong divided
highway with as thirst
to right-handed boost unequal
an Mexican was linchpin

of amateur the grease
siege in anatomical
as manager windpipe and rowdiness,
mileage: the register

the fast food hairdresser
phone call was totem pole
and vainly blend of discouraging,
penis the serve

turning point

This delight of spam from my inbox this morning asks many questions of our lives today.

Just who is the fast-food hairdresser? Why does she need to work two jobs?

Is the turning point of the last line when the hairdresser received the phone call that the 'totem-pole' of his/her penis that had discouraged him/her from living their life to the full in their real gender?

I don't know, I guess I never will... What I do know though is an Mexican was linchpin and that tells me enough.

Chat Up Lines

In researching chat-up lines for my friends forthcoming Hen Night I stumbled accross Phil Brodie Band's 125 lines. Along with the standard " I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock." fare there are also some absolute gems.

Some of the Best Ones...

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

He: Excuse me, want to dance?
She: No.
He: Maybe you didn't hear me ... I said you look really fat in those pants!

He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance?
She : No.
He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew)

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

My final two bestest ones...

I love the way you move...like butter on a bald monkey.

You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.

And the ones I think I may have used at some point...

Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?

Wow! Are those real?